Miel et Lait

Five seconds ago, Mama Kat posted the linky for this prompt, so there must be oodles of bloggers all linked up and chances are, my post will be buried in the wee bottom. If you are reading, THANK YOU! But, I made the executive decision to free verse this post. No editing, no whimpering over the perfect word choice or sentence structure, no agonizing over the flow or sequence or bla bla la. (See, I’m not even backspacing to fix typos!)

New Year’s resolutions are a foreign concept to me. I just don’t make them. I mean, I ponder over what changes I should be making (lose weight, quit smoking, bla bla bla) but I don’t make a plan. I don’t commit (in writing) the changes I want to see, things I want to accomplish, etc etc.

For shits and giggles, I decided that maybe I should give it a whirl. I mean, everyone else is doing it, right?

Without further ado, here are my 2012 New Year’s resolutions:

1. Clean up the potty mouth. No, seriously. I cuss like a sailor. Well, not that bad, but enough.  I really don’t like the way it sounds. Not that I’m judging (even though I am, but don’t want to admit it) when someone else cusses, my perception of their IQ drops. Significantly. I know, I’m going to hell in a handbasket. (For judging, not for cussing.)  I can’t afford  to lose IQ points in the eyes of my peers, so I’ve got to clean up the potty mouth.

2. Improve my posture. From the time I could walk until high school, my mom made me walk around the house with a book on my head to ensure I would have perfect posture. I rebelled by purposely slouching. Fine, I’ll admit it – Mom knew what she was talking about.

3. Let go of perfection. If it’s not perfect, I won’t publish. Needless to say, that has cost me dearly. I coulda, woulda, shoulda, posted tons of stuff over the past few months, but I decided it wasn’t worth reading because I didn’t have the perfect hook, the perfect title, a compelling introduction of a strong conclusion. So, I posted nothing. Publish, or perish, that’s my new motto.

4. Be comfortable being alone. How many of you have gone to a movie alone and lived to tell? I will venture into a movie theater alone and (fingers crossed!) will report back. Unless, I get swallowed up by a black hole or abducted by aliens, then, you’ll know it really is a bad idea. But, I did survive the rapture, so I doubt a solo trip to the IMAX will be the death of me.

5. Make peace with Paul. Paul, ohhhhhhhh Paul. Have I ever told ya all about Paul? No? Well, Paul, overhearing me chat with a friend about my three part time jobs when we supposed to be studying for an AP Bio exam, interjected, impressed at my work ethic that I had three part time jobs, exclaims, “Oh my God, Melissa, you are going to be so rich!” (deep calming breath) (deep calming breath)

Okay, I know that Paul (calming breath) meant it as a compliment. I have no reason (deep calming breath) to suspect that he had a malicious intent. I know, I mean I knoooooow that “rich” is subjective. I know that my life is rich (calming breath) in the important things, like love! and health! and happiness! (Deeeep caaaaaalming breath) But I am single. Not to say that is Paul’s fault. I mean, when we promised that if we were both single by a certain age (which passed eons ago) we would marry each other so we wouldn’t be alone, and Paul said, “Oh, Melissa, you won’t be alone!” I am sure he…

Whatever. It’s not Paul’s fault. He probably didn’t mean to jinx me. And I’m not cranky that he’s all Mr. Successful and newly engaged and (deep! calming! breaths!) Anyway, I will make peace with the (unintentional?) jinxing. And if I don’t, well, new year’s resolutions are made to be broken, no?

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